


Ctrl F: Cauliflower

by meeda



Category: Logan Lucky (2017), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Blowjobs, Clyde is basically the prison librarian, Cunnilingus, F/M, FBI, FBI Agent Rey, Light Kidnapping, Prison, Prisoner Clyde, Rey likes her men big and bookish, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-11 23:36:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29750745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meeda/pseuds/meeda
Summary: When FBI Agent Rey Sands is assigned her first investigation, she prepares for an intense dive into the world of crime. To her disappointment, she's sent back to her desk to monitor Clyde Logan's emails from the Morgantown Federal Correctional Facility. Rey expects to be bored to death, instead she finds herself smack in the middle of one of the Logans' cauliflower schemes.
Relationships: Clyde Logan & Rey (Star Wars), Clyde Logan/Rey (Star Wars)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 29
Collections: Clyde Loves Books Fic Exchange





	Ctrl F: Cauliflower

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kylorella](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kylorella/gifts).



> A Logan Lucky Reylo AU loosely inspired by the book Attachments by Rainbow Rowell.  
> Set after the events of Logan Lucky (2017).

Her hands hadn’t shaken this much since she went bungee jumping with Poe in college. The oak door of Special Agent Grayson’s office was trained in her sight as she walked through the bullpen of her peers. When she sat down at her desk this morning, she was greeted by an email from her superior informing her that Agent Grayson chose her out of the pool of button pushers to assist with an investigation. 

Special Agent Rey Sands was hired into the FBI six months ago. Having studied cyber security in school and graduating top of her class, she caught the eye of a recruiter who quickly signed her on to help maintain the  Bureau’s various databases. Her day-to-day didn’t look like the car chases and tense interrogations she’d seen FBI agents do on TV, but she was still doing important work. Or, at least, that’s the lie Rey told herself each day as she fought off the boredom. 

But today was going to be different. Taking a deep breath and straightening her blazer, Rey lifted her hand to rap against the wood. Before she could make contact, the door swung open to reveal Agent Grayson’s famed cheshire-cat smile directed at her. 

“Agent Sands. Please come in.” 

“How did you--?” 

Agent Grayson turned to sit behind her desk, allowing Rey to step into the office and close the door behind herself. 

“I’ve been doing this a long time, Agent Sands. I know my targets better than they know themselves. You’ve shown yourself to be punctual; clocking in no later than 15 minutes early every day. It was easy to guess you’d arrive at my door 15 minutes early for our meeting, as well. Sit,” she gestured to the chair across from her desk. 

“Very astute,” Rey said politely, feeling slightly uncomfortable with the other woman’s intensity. “I’m sure that comes in handy during investigations.” 

“I rarely lose a target. In fact, that’s why I asked you to meet with me today. I need your particular expertise.” 

This was it. Rey’s boring days at the Bureau were almost over. Soon, she’d be partnered with Agent Grayson snuffing out criminal activity across the country. It’d be a drastic transition from her current duties, but she was up for the challenge to be under the wing of a seasoned agent. Her legs started to tremble slightly from the anticipation of Agent Grayson’s assignment for her. 

“I’m happy to help in whatever way I can. To be honest, things can get kind of slow in database maintenance, so I’d be thankful for the added excitement.”

“I certainly have some excitement lined up for you if you’re up for it. Have you heard anything about the ‘Ocean’s Seven-Eleven’ case I’m investigating?” 

“Not much other than what was on the news. Some hick robbed the Coca-Cola 600 but returned the money soon after. You headed the investigation, went undercover, and eventually made one arrest.” 

“Hicks.” 

“Excuse me?” 

“Some  _ hicks  _ robbed the Coca-Cola 600; it wasn’t a one-man job,” Agent Grayson clarified. She stood to retrieve a file and placed it on the desk in front of Rey. She nodded, indicating she wanted Rey to open it. Inside, there were countless papers on top of which laid a mugshot of a man. She registered long, dark hair and a generous pair of lips before Agent Grayson snatched the mugshot from the file and went back to her seat. 

“Clyde Logan. Thirty-five years old, military veteran, bartender and owner at the Duck Tape. I spent three weeks sitting in his bar in bum-fuck West Virginia to manage half a confession from him. He’s currently spending his sentence at the Federal Correctional in Morgantown. Low security; mostly houses white-collar criminals. Fraud, embezzlement, that kind of thing.” Agent Grayson leaned back in her chair with a mirthful smirk as her hands clasped casually across her stomach. “I could almost laugh thinking about simple-minded Clyde sitting in prison with a bunch of ivy-league schmucks.” 

Rey’s leg had stopped bouncing. Her eyebrows knit together in confusion. 

“I’m sorry, Agent Grayson, I’m not following. If you already caught Clyde Logan in connection to the robbery, then isn’t your investigation over? What do you need me for?” 

A strange look entered Agent Grayson’s eyes.

“This investigation is far from over, Agent Sands,” she said gravely. “I’ve dedicated my life to profiling criminals and, in my professional opinion, Clyde Logan is not the type to have come up with this on his own.”

“You think he had an accomplice?” 

“When I was undercover, I learned that the Logan siblings are very close. They even have this code word they say when they want to get into some shit. Cauliflower. My instincts tell me that Clyde’s brother Jimmy masterminded the whole thing. However, Clyde let some information slip to me that could’ve taken the whole family down. So, when I went to make the arrests, he took the fall, confessed to everything, and refused to name names.”

“Holy shit,” Rey whispered to herself. 

“As far as I’m concerned, Jimmy Logan is still at large and this investigation is not over until I have him behind bars. That’s where  _ you _ come in, Agent Sands.” 

Rey’s heart began to race.

“I am honored that you chose me to assist you with this, Agent Grayson. It’s not often someone from database maintenance gets a chance to participate in criminal investigations. I’m willing to do whatever it takes to help you catch Jimmy. So, what is it you need me to do? Stake out Jimmy’s whereabouts for a few weeks? Go undercover to get close to the family?”

“Read emails.” 

It felt as if all of the air in the room had been sucked out. And was that ominous circus music playing in Rey’s head? She shook her head tightly and placed her hand on Agent Greyson’s desk before speaking up.

“I-I’m sorry. You need me to...read... _ emails _ ?”

“Clyde and Jimmy use JPay to send emails back and forth. The messages are screened by the prison staff, but I don’t trust those lazy sons of bitches to really read what gets sent. There’s a slim chance anything will come from these emails, but I don’t want to leave any stone unturned. I don’t have time to do it myself, so I need someone like you to monitor things. It shouldn’t be too difficult for you; you’re already used to looking at a screen all day.” 

_ Oh, right. _

Rey stood slowly, trying to cover the signs of her disappointment, and followed Agent Grayson to the door. 

“Just bookmark anything you think will help us build a case against Jimmy. I’ll send you the warden’s contact information and he’ll help get you access to their system.” 

Training her face into a stiff smile, Rey quickly nodded her goodbye to Agent Grayson, “You can count on me.” 

Later that day, Rey took her lunch break in the ladies room on the third floor so nobody could hear her crying.

\--------

_ 1 week later _

After a few days of self-pity and a weekend-long bender drinking rose spritzers, Rey was finally given access to the Morgantown facility’s JPay account. The messages went back a couple months. With a drawn out sigh and only the buzzing of her computer to keep her company, Rey began to sift through their previous messages. 

**JPay.com Inmate Email Services: (1) New Notifications**

**From: Jimmy Logan (countryroadz@gmail.com)**

**To: Clyde Logan (Inmate #3122545)**

**Date: May 7, 2017 8:13PM**

**Subject: hey little brother...**

**hey little bro.**

**you know how i feel about computers. hate these damn things. dont trust them, but mellie said this was the best way to keep in touch with you while you’re locked up.**

**how are you holding up? sadie has been asking to come see you, so im fixing to arrange a visit. hope they’re feeding you well in there.**

**hang tight,**

**jimmy**

**\--------**

**JPay.com Inmate Email Services: (1) New Notifications**

**From: Clyde Logan (Inmate #3122545)**

**To: Jimmy Logan (countryroadz@gmail.com)**

**Date: May 8, 2017 1:05PM**

**Subject: Hey yourself**

**Hey Jimmy,**

**I appreciate you putting in the effort to fight your proclivity to mistrust technology enough to reach out. Means a lot. They are feeding me well, but they don’t burn the bacon like I like it.**

**You know I’d love to see Sadie if you can get that fixed up. I miss her tugging my hair into piggy tails and asking to play tea party (don't tell her I said that). She’ll probably tell me this orange jumpsuit isn’t my color when she sees me.**

**Miss you too, by the way. How’s Mellie doing running the bar? Is Joe still sniffin’ around her?**

**Did I mention I’ve been reading about curses? I got a job helping in the library. Not many people come around there, so mostly I get to sit back and read all the books I want. Not too shabby given my current circumstances. Maybe the answer to our family problem is in one of these books. Guess I got time to find out.**

**Let me know when you’re coming to visit.**

**Clyde**

**\--------**

A warm smile spread across Rey’s face. It was easy to see the differences between the brothers based on grammar alone. It was obvious Clyde was an avid reader. His vocabulary was evidence enough of that. 

A small giggle had escaped her when she picked up on the fondness he had for his niece. Remembering his hair in his mug shot, Rey could see why Sadie would be so keen to want to braid it.

_ Get it together, Sands.  _

She grabbed a protein bar from her desk drawer to munch on while she continued reading.

**\--------**

**JPay.com Inmate Email Services: (1) New Notifications**

**From: Jimmy Logan (countryroadz@gmail.com)**

**To: Clyde Logan (Inmate #3122545)**

**Date: May 15, 2017 9:45PM**

**Subject: comb your hair**

**okay it’s all settled with the prison, little brother. sadie and i can come see you in july. just got to request the time off work so we can drive up. maybe for the fourth of july.**

**remember that one fourth of july when we were kids? the time you saw one of the bang brothers tie a firecracker to a stray cat? never seen you so upset before in my life. you put the fear of god in those boys that day and then bandaged that poor cat’s tail and hid it in your room from Mama. good times.**

**mellie has been managing fine. you didn’t hear it from me, but she installed a karaoke machine. did you know earl had all of dolly parton’s hits memorized?**

**yeah joe hangs around still, but don't worry i’m making sure he’s treating her nice.**

**I can't believe you’re still on this curse thing! what happened to you was a fluke. an accident. i should’ve been keepin a better eye on you. im your big brother after all. it’s my job.**

**just know i feel bad about you ending up there. real bad.**

**jimmy**

**\--------**

**JPay.com Inmate Email Services: (1) New Notifications**

**From: Clyde Logan (Inmate #3122545)**

**To: Jimmy Logan (countryroadz@gmail.com)**

**Date: May 17, 2017 10:04AM**

**Subject: A Karaoke Machine?**

**Let me just check my busy schedule of doing hard labor…**

**Of course the Fourth of July will be good for me. Yes, I remember the cat thing. Don’t paint me like a hero, you would’ve done the same thing if I hadn’t have gotten there first.**

**Does Earl know _My Blue Ridge Mountain Boy_? I always loved that one -- Dolly sang it so pretty. I’m sure Mellie is doing a great job. Shame she had to quit the salon though. I know she liked doin’ hair and hearing the gossip. Give her a big hug from me.**

**And Jimmy, I’ll kindly ask you to stop blubbering in the prison email. Other people can see this. You know that, right?**

**What happened...happened. That’s all there is to it. So don’t go feeling some type of way about the situation. You’ve got a family to worry about, don’t worry about me.**

**Remember when Mommy was sick, she used to tell us it was okay to throw a pity party for ourselves, but eventually you gotta get up and get on?**

**This is me telling you to get on, Jimmy. I’ll be back home after a while.**

**Clyde**

**\--------**

A small lump formed in Rey’s throat. It could’ve been from taking too big a bite of protein bar, but deep down Rey knew it was from reading how fiercely Clyde loved his family. That concept was something rather foreign to her given that she grew up alone. 

But reading these two brothers share their childhood memories and reassure one another’s feelings caused Rey to prickle. Something akin to jealousy mixed with the curiosity to learn more. Was she going soft? 

For someone in prison, Clyde seemed rather content to be there. Perhaps Agent Grayson’s suspicions were right and he was happy knowing he was keeping the rest of the family safe from the strong arm of the law? 

Rey sifted through a few more messages. The majority of them were updates from Jimmy about the bar, the family, or the latest town gossip. Every single one of them included another apology that Clyde got locked up. Eventually, she got to the most recent messages:

**JPay.com Inmate Email Services: (1) New Notifications**

**From: Jimmy Logan (countryroadz@gmail.com)**

**To: Clyde Logan (Inmate #3122545)**

**Date: June 27, 2017 11:37PM**

**Subject: trust me**

**i know you keep saying they are feeding you well, but sylvie made this the other day and i just thought you might be able to ask the cooks to try it out. she said she got it from the food network or something:**

**_Crispy_ _Cauliflower_ _Pizza Crust_ **

**_1 head cauliflower, stalk removed_ **

**_1/2 cup shredded mozzarella_ **

**_1/4 cup grated Parmesan_ **

**_1/2 teaspoon dried oregano_ **

**_1/2 teaspoon kosher salt_ **

**_1/4 teaspoon garlic powder_ **

**_2 eggs, lightly beaten_ **

**_Directions :_ **

**_Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper._ **

**_Break the cauliflower into florets and pulse in a food processor until fine. Steam in a steamer basket and drain well. (I like to put it on a towel to get all the moisture out.) Let cool._ **

**_In a bowl, combine the cauliflower with the mozzarella, Parmesan, oregano, salt, garlic powder and eggs. Transfer to the center of the baking sheet and spread into a circle, resembling a pizza crust. Bake for 20 minutes._ **

**_Add desired toppings and bake for an additional 10 minutes._ **

**jimmy**

**\--------**

**JPay.com Inmate Email Services: (2) New Notifications**

**From: Clyde Logan (Inmate #3122545)**

**To: Jimmy Logan (countryroadz@gmail.com)**

**Date: June 28, 2017 3:23PM**

**Subject: ...**

**Don’t.**

**\--------**

**From: Clyde Logan (Inmate #3122545)**

**To: Jimmy Logan (countryroadz@gmail.com)**

**Date: June 28, 2017 3:25PM**

**Subject: Re: ...**

**Sorry.**

**Meant to say don’t you know I’m allergic?**

**Thanks for the thought, but I’ll eat what they give me. It’s what I deserve. Please don’t send me any more cauliflower recipes, Jimmy. I mean it.**

**Clyde**

**P.S.**

**Looking forward to a nice, quiet visit from you and Sadie. Too bad Sylvie can’t come along this time.**

**\--------**

Why would Clyde get so riled up from a recipe? 

Sure, whoever invented cauliflower pizza crust should be arrested for fraud and Rey made a mental note to pull some strings within The Bureau to make that happen. But Clyde’s reaction seemed much more heated. She scanned the last few messages a couple more times. 

Suddenly, the pencil Rey had been tapping against the desk fell to the floor. 

Cauliflower. 

_ Oh, shit.  _


End file.
